


Adultery

by orphan_account



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: 16 year old reader, Cheating, Daddy Kink, Dirty Talk, F/M, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Not quite step parent brian, Slow Build, Underage - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-24
Updated: 2016-06-29
Packaged: 2018-07-18 00:56:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7292989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Where the young reader starts to grow feelings for her not quite stepfather.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Secrets

I have a terrible secret. Well I say secret but it's starting to look like less and less of a secret. 

Four years ago, my dad died. He had a heart attack. I was 12. Obviously it destroyed both me and my mother. But that was four years ago. About half a year ago, she started dating again. I was worried at first but most of the guys I ended up meeting were surprisingly nice but they just never stuck around. 

Then Brian came along. Mum was completely smitten after the first few dates so decided to introduce us a little earlier than she usually did. He was nice, polite and quite handsome too. He ended up spending most of his time at our place. 

And soon enough I was fucking crazy about him.

It started a few months ago, before Brian started spending any extended time at our home. He had picked Mum up for a dinner date and since I had the house to myself, a friend of mine, Sam, decided to come round for the night. We were just watching some dumb movie when I notice a car pulling up outside. Sam instantly went over to the window, peeking out with a grin that made my stomach turn  
“..well it looks like your mum's having a good night”

“Dude..I don't want to know”

“well tough tits, looks like they're coming inside”  
And they did. They came in, mum asked me in a really not very subtle way if me and Sam could sleep downstairs on the sofas and then she was gone, Brian going with her. At least he hadn't given me some creepy smile or anything, which couldn't be said for Sam who was sitting across the room grinning at me. 

“hey, at least he's not bad looking. You gotta love sliver foxes right?”

Obviously that just disgusted me at the time but it put the idea into my head that in some ways, Brian wasn't too bad looking. It planted that dark seed deep in my sexually emerging, puberty wrecked mind and the bloody thing fed off my thoughts like a parasite, growing fatter and making me more and more aware of it everyday. 

Then next event to fuel my...I don't want to call it my obsession but there's no better word for it, was when me and Sam watched porn together. This really isn't something we normally do, it had started out as a dare but then we got kinda curious. This is actually the first time we were really exposed to real, full frontal hardcore porn so it was actually how I learnt the dirty parts of how sex works rather than just “penis goes in vagina and then babies happen”. It was a basic student teacher plot, the classic “I'll do anything to pass”, not that I would know of course. The girl was, of course completely gorgeous, the kind of pretty that I didn't know was even real. While Sam was focused more on her, I think this might have been the moment she realised she liked girls a little more than guys, I was focused on the ‘teacher’. He was...very Hollywood actor-ish. Clean, smartly dressed. 

Oh did I mentioned this was the first time either of us had ever seen a dick before? Yeah, that was the first dick I saw in my whole life. 

Yay. 

I didn't know what to think of it, one moment it was soft then she rubbed it a while and it got hard and then she sucked it a while and me and Sam ended up giggling like idiots and turning it off. We joked about it and both agreed it was weird. 

I still ended up finishing it when she was gone though. I finished a lot of porn after that. It wasn't for pleasure, I was just suddenly so curious. At first it was just student and teacher stuff, then I branched out a little but they were always ‘young hot girl with older man’. I was confused, I didn't know why I was so fascinated by the concept. 

Then I had a dream. A horrible, porn fueled dream that made me sit and stare at a wall for hours on end because holy shit how did my own fucking mind come up with that?

It had started with me sitting at the kitchen table downstairs when Brian had just walked in.  
“Have you seen your mother anywhere?” I remember looking up at him and just staring for a few seconds before answering  
“I think she went out to buy milk” my voice was strangely flat. He just gave a nod, making his way over to me

“I think that's long enough” God I remember that voice so well, it wasn't a voice I had actually heard from Brian. It was deep and growly and made my toes curl. His hands planted on my shoulders, squeezing slightly. I just nodded, hands tightening on the table in front of me. He leaned down, head close to my ear  
“How long have you been wanting this baby girl?”

I didn't answer, just turned to face him. The pet name both made my stomach turn and heart race. I closed my eyes and felt his lips on mine, stumble rubbing against my cheek. 

And then I woke up. Breathing deeply, hands clenched. 

Just like with the porn, I was disgusted but by god was I curious. Breakfast that morning was torture for me, I had to sit there while Brian and mum just carried on like there wasn't a torturous sexual awakening going on inside my head. Every time I glanced at him I just got flashbacks to that dream. God I could still feel that salt and pepper stubble against my face. He even gave me a small smile, as if he could tell something was wrong. Him being nice to me made this all so much worse. 

I ended up breaking down at school, hiding in the toilet and finally confessing all to Sam who wasn't disgusted or confused at all. She just laughed at me and gave my back a strong pat.  
“you're so silly. It's just an...unusual crush. It's no big deal!”

She didn't even care about the porn, she just laughed at that too and made a joke about how “only weird thing about that is that you're not jacking off to it” 

All of that made me feel better. She might be crude and brass but it was kinda nice.

Knowing it was just a stupid crush made things easier to justify. I've had those before, they pass. They consume your life for a while then pass. Then you continue on as normal. So I just let it fester in the back of my mind. 

Then the next trigger came and blew the “let it pass” idea right out of the water. The only bathroom in our house was upstairs, sitting between the master bedroom and my own. At this point Brian had been staying here for a solid few days. It was like he was slowly moving in. I had just been brushing my teeth when I heard what was definitely a moan from the master room. I stopped, only to hear it again and felt my stomach turn, thinking Brian and mum might be…having private time. But then I heard movement downstairs, mum was down in the kitchen. My eyes widened a little, toothbrush hanging out of my mouth

Brian was in there alone.  
Doing things.  
Adult things.  
Alone adult things. 

I couldn't help it, I couldn't help focusing on the sounds. The next one was deeper, more of a groan. Then an outright growl and oh god this was killing me. I gave in, dropping the toothbrush down into the sink and pressing my ear against the wall. This wasn't just me being curious, no I was a thirsty, disturbed fuck, listening in on my mother's boyfriend jacking off. 

“fuck..” that voice, it the deep, growly tone I had been dreaming about for weeks. Hearing it, even quiet and muffled through the wall, was sending my heart racing and knees weak. I only just noticed my hand resting on my thigh, sliding further down. I hesitated, then heard another growl from the bedroom and just gave in, leaning fully against the wall and closing my eyes. I imagined him pressing me against the wall, hands roughly grabbing me and yanking my clothes, growling into my ear. I wasn't sure what was happening, I felt this heat burning in my lower stomach, my head felt light. Before I could shut myself up, I let out a long whine, eyes squeezing shut and front pressed completely against the wall. 

Then I realised Brian wasn't making any noise. 

And I was.

I think he just heard me. 

After a pause, I dropped my toothbrush in the little cup and made a mad dash for my bedroom, slamming the door behind me. I spent the night curled up under the blankets, filled with complete shame and confusion. I didn't even remotely understand what had happened, why I had totally lost control there and what...that feeling was. The huge pressure then sudden drop back into reality. Fuck the shit going through my head had felt so real to me, it was like I could really feel his hands on me, chest pressing into my back a-

I cut myself off and hid my face in a pillow. This was horrible. I couldn't even talk to Sam about this, even she would think I was sick for listening in on him. I was so sure Brian would know too, that he heard me in there and knew exactly what I was doing. Maybe he would tell Mum. 

I couldn't take this. I just wanted this obsession to go, I wanted to understand what was happening to me, why I had lost control. 

I'm not sure when it hit me that maybe someone online had gone through something like this. So I shuffled my way over to laptop and opened it up. Not quite knowing where to start I just ended up on multi subject chatroom hub. I noticed an 18+ only area, and decided ‘fuck it’, diving right in. The rooms looked like the tags I had seen on some of the porn videos, it looked like this was just for people really into different porn types. I noticed a ‘young&old’ room, and since that seemed to be the one I watched the most I set a username and entered. 

I just watched for a bit, it was mostly guys sharing videos they liked. I actually watched some of them, with the same kind of curiosity as before. I got bored of just watching so picked out a video I had saved and posted the link with a quick ‘this one's pretty similar, it's great’. 

I got an almost instantly reply. 

Milflover93: yah thts a gd one. R u new here?  
I wasn't sure what to say at first, I didn't know this was such a close knit group that they would notice an outsider so easily. 

Kittycatgamer: Yeah, i only just found it

Miflover93: welcome, u a girl? 

I briftly wondered how he knew but then realised my name kinda gave it away. It was just a little feminine 

Kittycatgamer: Yeah. Is that okay?

Or course it was. We actually ended up talking a while, exchanging videos and chatting a while before he suddenly asked how old I was.  
I was hesitant to reply but hey, it was just my age 

Kittycatgamer: 16. You? 

Milflover93: 27. So wat other kind of stuff r u into? 

Kittycatgamer: I don't really know  
Kittycatgamer: I haven't really seen any other stuff

Milflover93: y do u like young&old stuff so much? 

Because I'm sexually interested in the man who might end up being my stepfather someday.  
I didn't say it in those exact words but I got it out. It was nice to be able to tell someone without really caring if they judged me or not. 

Milflover93: tats pretty hot.

Kittycatgamer: i feel like a freak.  
Kittycatgamer: i don't understand it at all

Milflover93: its not that bad. Its not like hes actually ur dad or anything. He and ur mum arent even married. 

That was true, but the age difference was still so huge. Plus there was tonight's incident. I ended up telling him about that too, then about the pressure and how it all felt and just how confusing it was, all in one long spill, line after line before he could reply. 

Then there was a knock at the door. I frozen, then shut my laptop down quickly and sat up “er…come in” 

I thought it might have been mum at first but no such luck. It was Brian, slowly poking his head in.  
“I was wondering if we could talk”  
My heart was pounding in my ears as I nodded, sitting up and legs hanging off the bed. He simply stepped inside, shutting the door behind him.  
“I.. Heard you earlier. I wanted to make sure you were okay”

I just stared, heart pounding as he kept going “You sounded like you were in pain”

“y-yeah I was fine. Just...headaches” it was an obvious lie, I was visibly nervous. Too nervous to be telling the truth. I glanced up, meeting his eye for a moment before looking back down. God he had an intense stare, the cold blue eyes only adding to this. I felt my cheeks starting to heat up as my knees subconsciously squeezed together, hands grabbing a handful of the bedsheets. 

Finally he gave a sharp nod, voice gentle and smooth as he stood up “Okay. I know this isn't easy on you” I just nodded, glancing up again as he left. 

After a pause, I silently opened up my laptop again and looked at the reply. 

Milflover93: u should just make a move on him. Get it out of your system. If hes into it then go for it but if hes not then just act innocent. 

I stared for a moment, then shut it down and curled up under the covers, trying to sleep, only to wake up from another dream, panting with one hand between my legs. 

This one started like a direct rip off of the events from earlier, only it escalated.  
“just headaches” I blurted the words out here, messing them up even more than I did in reality. A large hand gently cupped my chin, lifting my head up slowly to meet his eyes. His eyes were even more intense here. 

“Don't try to lie on me. You were listening to me weren't you?” 

“N-no I swear I just…I didn't mean to”

The hand tightened on my chin, a low growl escaping him. “You've been a very bad girl”

And then I woke up. It was only 3am but there was no way I was going back to sleep again after that, I didn't want to risk another dream like that to chip away yet more of my sanity. There wasn't enough left for that. So instead I just got up, grabbing my laptop. I ended up back on the chatroom, only to find a private message from the man I was chatting with earlier. It was just a link with the words “just read this and maybe try it out. It might help how you're feeling right now”

It was a link to a blog about female masturbation. I went to close it in disgust, I had always seen that as gross and dirty but a line caught my line.  
“this is totally natural and plenty of people do it. Don't let old traditional values stop you feeling good”

I stared at the line for a moment, then slowly started reading the rest. It was basically instructions, talking mostly about relaxing and just doing whatever feels comfortable and good. Once I was done, I closed the site and sat back to think. 

Maybe I should try rethinking this. I thought for a moment to talk to mum about this, not the part were I wanted to slam her boyfriend but the..self pleasure part. Maybe if I just heard someone else tell me “what you're feeling is okay, natural and it's okay to experiment” then I would stop ripping myself apart over it.  
No, I couldn't do that. I was too old to be asking my mum sex questions, that would just be awkward. 

After a pause, I grabbed my phone, sending Sam a text asking if she was up. I couldn't talk to mum about sex, but I could always talk to Sam. She wouldn't give me any bullshit either. I was a little surprised when she replied with a simple 

>yeah, what's up?  
>can we meet? I need to talk to you  
>sure, dad's gone out so come over. He bought some beers yesterday so we could steal a couple of those.  
>OK, be there in ten minutes

With that I grabbed my clothes and tugged them on, tossing my bag over my shoulder and creeping down the stairs. It wasn't my first time doing this, and I think mum had a sneaking suspicious but she was letting it slide. I still wanted to be quiet, didn't see the point in waking her up for no reason. I was stopped at the kitchen doorway by someone standing at the sink. Of course it was Brian and of course he was only wearing boxers. I frozen, then dunked behind the wall out of sight before he could see. I heard the tap go for a moment, then stop. Then footsteps coming towards me. After a brief moment of panic I dropped down to my knees and chambered behind the sofa. I heard the footsteps coming past, stopping at the foot of the stairs. I might have been alright if my bag hadn't slipped off my shoulder, clattering loudly on the floor. Not really wanting Brian to assume the worst and maybe get violent, I slowly stood up, eyes on my feet

“...what are you doing?” he didn't sound angry thank god, just genuinely confused.

“I was going to see a friend” I kept my voice low, hands clenching into fists as I heard him come closer.

“at three in the morning?” I glanced up, seeing bare chest and chest hair and that same intense stare before I focused on my feet again  
“I needed to talk about stuff. I'm sorry if I scared you or something”

“it's not that, I'm just concerned. Is it really safe to be walking around this late at night?”

I just shrugged. Maybe the town wasn't the safest place on earth but still, I really needed to see Sam to talk this out.  
“I've done it before”

There was a pause. Then I heard him sign “wait here. I'll go put some clothes on and give you a lift. I don't like the thought of you walking there alone” And then he made his way up the stairs, rubbing his face as he walked. I paused, then glanced towards the main door through the kitchen. I could just go now. I should just go now. The thought of being alone with him anymore was terrifying, I was so scared of losing control or letting something slip. But something held me still, rooted to the floor. 

You should just make a move on him. Get it out of your system

By God did I want this out of my system. I wanted to be done with these feelings, done with feeling like a sick freak for something I couldn't control.  
So I stood still, watching as Brian came back down the stairs, fully dressed and holding keys in his hand. He just waved his hand towards the door as he walked past me, gesturing for to follow him.  
“come on. Does your mother know about this?”

“Maybe, she's not dumb so probably” I followed him closely, taking a deep breath of the cool, crisp air. Brian actually held the door open for me, shutting it as soon as I was seated. I hadn't actually had a real look at his car before but it was surprisingly fancy. Nice, soft leather, wooden dashboard. It helped smoothe my nerves slightly but they spiked up as soon as Brian took the drivers seat, shutting the door, locking me in with him.  
The drive was short and I was combing my mind to try and think of a way to ‘make a move’ but nothing was coming.  
“..thank you for this”

“Well I think your mother would be pretty upset if something happened to you” He glanced over as he drove, giving me a small smile. 

“Yeah. Still it's nice...we haven't really talked before” god this was pathetic, it didn't feel like I was making any kinda of connection

“No...would you like to?”

I nodded quickly “I mean.. Yeah. I wish mum didn't try stopping me getting to know the people she's dating. Especially when you're around so much”

“I think she's just worried it'll upset you”

“Well, it doesn't. I.. I want to get to know you” this could have all sounded totally innocent but with my cheeks bright red and breathing fast and shallow, it certainly didn't sound innocent. Brian didn't reply. He took a glance at me, then focused on the road. Finally, he flipped the indicator and pulled over, parking the car outside Sam’s house, turning back to stare at me

“what do you mean by that?” oh god, it was much harder to talk with that stare focused on me. 

“Just...I don't know” it was all failing on me now, falling apart. He didn't look angry, disgusted or any kind of real emotion. No I could back down now, I couldn't just leave now and act like it never happened. 

After a pause, I lunged across the car, pressing my lips against his, one hand stabilising myself on his shoulder.

 

I had dreamed about this. Spent hours thinking about it, obsessed with how it would be, how he would react. And I was given about two seconds of rough stubble rubbing my skin and heat against me before I was pushed away.

Brians face hadn't changed but I could see the death grip he had on the steering wheel, knuckles white. I opened my mouth to say something, anything, but nothing came out. 

“..get out”  
He didn't have to tell me twice. I flung open the door and almost fell out, slamming it behind me and stepping away from the car as it drove off. After a pause, I heard the door open behind me  
“Hey man, what's up...dude are you crying?”

I was crying. I cried a lot that night. I spilled everything to her again, crying into her shoulder as I did. The noise she made when I told her about the car ride made me sick. 

“I'm s-so stupid..so fucking stupid”

“...yeah man, that was pretty dumb. Maybe if you explain you were just dumb and horny he won't like...tell your mum”

That just made me cry more. He was certainly going to tell her and God knows how she'll react.  
I didn't touch the beers that night but Sam did. 6am rolled around and she was leaning against me, staring at the ceiling  
“..that was your first kiss right?”

“yeah..I don't want to think about that” I jumped out of my skin at the knock at the door, so did Sam. She dashed over to the window and peered out the window “..oh shit..dude it's Brian”

I paused, then ran over to her side to look out. There he was, standing in the morning drizzle, hands in a tight fists. I hesitated, then jumped again as he raised his fist and banged on the door again. He looked so angry.  
I stepped around, slowly opening the door and feeling my gut clench as that stare landed on me again  
“...hi”

“come on. I'm here to take you home” 

So I grabbed my bag, glanced at Sam a moment before stepping out into the rain. Once again he held the car door open for me, letting me sit down and get comfortable. 

I didn't even wait for him to start up the engine before speaking “I'm really, really sorry about last night. I was...I don't know I was being stupid”  
I felt like I was about to start crying again and the way Brian hardly even reacted made it worse. He just nodded and flicked on the windscreen wipers without a word. 

“.. Did you tell mum?”

“no” that's all I got but I guess it's all I needed 

“T-thank you. I just want to pretend it never happened”

“I don't think I can do that” it took me a moment to process that. I frowned, then glanced back up “I took a look through your computer last night”

“oh god” I whined, starting to curl up, head in my hands “I-I’m so sorry” my words broke up halfway through into sobs. He saw everything. He knew everything. 

I was disgusting 

I was sick

And he knew everything. 

And he would soon tell mum and she would know everything. 

By the time we pulled up outside the house my cheeks were streaked with tears,breathing heavy. A hand plants on my shoulder and I slowly look up, meeting Brian's eyes  
“..are you going to tell mum?”

“As long as you don't tell her about this”

I frowned, about to speak when he leant over, hand shifting to my chin and pulling me in, kissing me softly. Not in the clumsy, rough way I had kissed him but in a slow, passionate way. The kiss consumed every sense I had, all I could feel was his hands on me and all I could smell was him and all I could taste was his lips and his tongue as it brushed against my lips and just him

Then he pulled back slightly, resting his forehead on mine 

“Do you think you can keep this a secret?”


	2. Pancakes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's this?? Yeah, the first wheel of kinks to get another chapter. Beacuse I can!

I wasn't sure what was happening between me and Brian. He and mum were still dating, he had actually ended up moving fully in with us within a week of the...car incident, lets just call it that. But they were far less cuddly and smoochy, at least around me. And whenever we got a second alone together, Brian completely changed. It was only when Mum was completely out of the house, no chance of getting caught. Like today. 

I was sick. It wasn't bad, I had just bashed my head on the table and ended up rather dizzy. My mum decided to let me off school, then went out to buy some painkillers for me. She had left me on the sofa with a little kiss on my forehead, asking Brian on her way out to keep an eye on me. He came in, crouching down next to the sofa and brushing a little hair out of my face, then leant forward, kissing my gently and slowly. Even though we had done this so much now, though not nearly as much as I would like, it still made my heart pound. It still felt wonderful and magically and so passionate but still so wrong. Especially when it was from the same man who was helping me with my homework last night. Who mum was slowly to bring in as a replacement for my dad. 

Brian fully pulled back and I sighed quietly, sliding my hand over to his “... She's probably going to be back really soon. I've been trying to think of a way to get her out the house for a few hours”

His hand met mine halfway, dwarfing mine, thumb rubbing across the back “I know baby, don't be too obvious though. We don't want her suspecting anything” he paused, giving my hand a squeeze before continuing “have you told anyone?”

I didn't reply, avoiding eye contact. I had caved within a week, once again exposing my heart to Sam inside the girls bathroom. She had been excited, but cautious. Told me to be careful he wasn't just looking for a little side action, that he did actually give a shit about me. And since Brian hadn't even tried to get in my pants, we hadn't gone further than a few quite heavy kisses, I was feeling pretty confident that I wouldn't have to worry about that. Even though I could trust Sam totally, I knew Brian would have rather I didn't tell anyone, confirmed by the growl when I didn't answer   
“who did you tell?” 

“.. Sam. She's not going to tell anyone, I tell her everything”

“Baby, this is serious. Do you know what will happen if anyone finds out about this? I'll lose my job and your mother will probably make sure I never see you again”  
I whine softly, going to cover my face   
“I'm sorry, I just..I can't help it. It's too big to try and bottle up”

I heard him sign, hands gently gripping my wrists and lowering my hands away from my face “I know...its too late now, we'll just hope she keeps quiet” He leant forward and gave me another kiss, quicker this time “I promise sweetheart, I'll figure something out. I'll find a way for us to actually spend some time together. Just be patient for me, okay Princess?”

I nodded quickly, all the pet names were making me blush. I loved them so much. I learned forward for another smoochie when I heard mums car pulling up onto the driveway and Brian sign, giving my cheek a quick peck then standing up, heading towards the kitchen to put the kettle on  
“tea?”   
“sure, thanks” I flopped back on the sofa, glaring at the wall.

 

I knew Brian said he would sort it but I couldn't help but keep racking my brain for ideas, ways me and him could be alone, even if it was just for an hour or two. In the end, I turned to Sam for ideas.   
“buy her a long ass spa treatment or something. Or just a whole spa day. She'll love you and be gone all day, letting you and Brian get on with...whatever you guys do when you're alone. Still just smooching?”

We were back her place, beer in hand and relaxing in her room. I nodded “just smooching”

“..do you want it to go further than that?”

“I-I don't know. I wouldn't mind...heavier smooches”

“Well I meant sex but sure whatever”  
I didn't answer that, I couldn't. I was so undecided on the matter. I did want to be with him, close to him but sex just seemed so extreme.   
Plus Brian would have to see me naked and that scared me.

I did have an idea of my own of how to spend maybe a few extra minutes with Brian. I was downstairs, quite late in the evening and finishing up homework when Mum came past  
“..honey it's late. I'm about to go to bed so maybe you should too?”

“Mum is it okay if I stay up a little later to finish this? Its in for tomorrow..”

She didn't love it, but let it go, telling me to be in bed as soon as it was done. Almost as soon as she went upstairs, Brian appeared in the doorway, watching me for a moment “do you need any help?”

“No.. I've actually just finished” I slowly closed the book, looking up at him with a smile. He hesitated, glancing towards the stairs as he made his way slowly towards me. One hand rested on my shoulder, squeezing roughly as he spoke, soft but deep

“this a very dangerous game baby. You mother could come downstairs at any moment” he leant down, lips by my ear “It's like you want to be caught”

I whined, hand reaching up to rest on his “I just.. Really wanted to spend with you”

“I know baby, I do too” He planted a kiss on my temple, taking another glance towards the door. 

“I had an idea, to get her out the house for the way. What if I bought her one of those spa day packages, on we both have off? Then she would be gone most of the day and we could.. You know. Be together”

He didn't answer for a moment, resting his chin on the top of my head, thinking.  
“..I can do you one better than that” he patted my shoulder, leaning down to kiss my cheek “Like I said; let me deal with it”

“But I wanna help. Well, I'm getting impatient” I admitted the last part rather quickly and heard Brian chuckle “..sorry. I'll let you handle it”

“Good girl. Trust me, I'm ge-” he suddenly stopped at a creak from upstairs, pulling away from me quickly and staring up at the ceiling, then towards the stairs. After a moment we saw Mum coming down, wrapped in a dressing gown. She smiled at Brian 

“water. Feeling thirsty” she stopped and gave him a quick kiss as she passed that made my stomach churn with pure, bitter jealousy. Brian saw this, it must have been pretty obvious from looking at my face, but didn't say anything. I just packed up my books, then headed upstairs for the night. 

I kept my word, not planning or doing anything and instead letting Bri handle it. I couldn't really do much, I looked exactly how much my plan would cost and it was far more than what I had saved. I didn't have to wait long. I came home from school to see mum with her arms wrapped around Brian's neck, kissing him. Not the sweet little kisses we shared, full on tongue and everything else I didn't want to see. I went from fine to a pure jealous rage bomb that I quickly disguised as disgust   
“ugh come on mum..”  
She pulled back, giggling like a school girl. A stupid blonde school girl who's hair I really wanted to rip out “Oh I'm sorry sweetie, Brian's just got me a lovely surprise!”

She told me all about it, about how he had booked her a two day retreat in the south for that weekend, just for her and how excited she was. Obviously, I was delighted that he really had one upped me but my rage still hadn't gone. It was actually concerning just how angry I was and how it was all at mum. Deep down, I knew it wasn't her fault, she was just kissing her boyfriend. She didn't know. I should have been angry with Brian, but I couldn't bring myself. 

That night, when I was upstairs on my laptop was always, mum tapped on the door and poked her head in “hey sweetie, could we talk for a bit?”

I shrugged and sat up, pausing my laptop away. She took that as a yes and came in, sitting down on the bed next to me “so...you know I'll be gone for the whole weekend right?”

I just nodded

“well, will you be okay, alone here with Brian? I know you two don't know each other very well”

“its fine. I like Brian, he’s nice” Mum didn't look convinced   
“maybe you could go stay with Sam for the weekend?”

I sighed, then it hit me that this could work “mum...I really like Brian being around. He's nice, it's like...it's like having Dad back” I look down at my hands “..I know you didn't bring him in to replace dad, but I can't help it if it kinda goes like that. I can't help how I feel, you know?”

After a pause, she nods and wraps her arms around me “..good. I'm so happy you like him sweetie. It means the world to me”

And with that, the plan went ahead. Mum left with a tight hug for me and a quick kiss for Brian, then the door shut and we were alone. For the whole weekend. Excitment and nerves were boiling in me as Brian slowly turned on me, closing the space between us in a few steps. I felt his hands on my sides and shook my head “..you're not smooching me yet, you literally just kissed my mot-” he cut me off, lips on mine. My resolve melted as his hands tightened on me, leaning against his chest. Despite what I had just said, I wanted more. I parted my lips slightly, feeling his tongue swipe against them. Then all too soon it was gone, forehead resting against mine  
“sorry, what were you saying?”

“..it doesn't matter” I went to kiss him again but he moved just out of reach, giving me a rare smile 

“Patience sweetheart. We have all weekend remember? Come on, how's pancakes sound for breakfast?” 

So we made pancakes together, for once being able to just relax and not worry about getting caught, sharing little kisses and sitting down together on the sofa and eating happily. It was wonderful in the pure domestic bless of it, how his arm felt around me and how his stubble tickled my face everytime he kissed me. Finally he pushed the plates away, gently tugging me into his lap and snuggling into my neck, one hand on my thigh   
“God baby, I've wanted this so long. But you've wanted it even longer haven't you?” I nodded quickly, arms around his neck. I felt his lips on my neck, tongue tracing upwards and following the pulse pounding under my skin. This was much further than I was expecting to go so soon but fuck it. It felt good, I felt good, Brian was making me feel good. 

Why should I stop him? 

I felt teeth grazing and let out a long whine, hips rolling forward subconsciously. Two fingers hooked into the waistband on my pajama bottoms, only to stop when he felt me tense up   
“hey hey, it's okay. Just relax” His head pulled back a little, forehead resting on mine “look at my baby. I won't make you do anything you're not comfortable with...if you want me to stop, tell me. Okay?”

I slowly nod, hands gripping on his shirt. “I want to do this but..its just scary”

He nodded, moving his hand from my waist “I know. Just relax, I promise I won't hurt you” His words were so soft, making me relax. My pajamas slowly slide down my hips, one hand sliding between my legs. My chin rested on his shoulder, tense but confident. I wanted this, wanted him to touch me in the way I was too scared to. I opened my eyes, looking across the room and meeting my mother's eyes. She was stnding there, in the doorway, car keys in hand and just staring at us in nothing but pure horror.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> .. Drama!


	3. Uncertainty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More of the thing no one asked for!

I'm really not sure how long I sat there. I couldn't move. My eyes were locked on my mother's, who seemed to be in the same boat. Only when her fingers relaxed enough to let her keys drop to the floor did either of us move. I felt Brian jumped underneath me just before I hopped up, pulling my pajamas bottoms up. 

“you get the fuck out of my house” she wasn't looking at me now, she had turned on Brian now, hands clenching into fists. It hit me later that this was the first time she had sworn around me. Brian stood up, pausing as if trying to think of something he could say. I got in there first  
“mum, I'm sor-’

“shut up..god damn it, how could you do this to me?!” her voice was raising as she advanced on me, getting more and more hysterical “No wonder you wanted to stay here so baldy. How long has this been going on?”

She had stopped, head jerking towards Brian. He hesitated before answering “..a few weeks”

She slowly shook her head, then her eyes are back on me. I couldn't stand it, the rage and the betrayal on her face.   
“..Brian, get out. I never want to see you again. Get out before I call the police”

There was a pause, then I saw Brian head towards the door. Panic raced through me, I didn't want him to leave. If I did, I might never see him again. It wasn't like I had his phone number or even knew where he lived. With a quiet sob, I tried to dart around mum but she must have thought I was trying to run out of the room or something because she roughly grabbed my shoulder, pulling me back. 

I know she didn't mean to hurt me, she was just angry and underestimated her strength. I felt my back slam against the wall, head following with a loud slam. My eyes squeezed shut and I buckled forward, silently grabbing the back of my head. I felt someone crouch down next to me and opened my eyes to see Brian, speaking softly, while mum just backed away   
“are you alright?”

I didn't answer that question, instead grabbing his hand “please, take me with you. I don't want to lose you Brian”

“sweetheart I can't do t-”

“no, no you can” it was crazy but there really was nothing illegal about it. I was sixteen, I was free to live wherever I wanted. Brian knew this. I watching him think, just crouching there thinking while my head throbbed. I could feel blood on my hand but tried my best to ignore it. Finally, he gave a single nod, hand tightening on mine as he stood up. I wasn't sure if mum had heard us, either way she stood between us and the door, shoulders bunched and arms tense as if she were about to try punching a bear. I tired to stand but my head swum so much I just ended up slumping back against the wall.

Maybe I had hit my head harder than I thought. 

Brian was by my side again, arms scooping me up. I heard Mum shouting, getting louder as he carried me out. She was threatening him, saying she'll call the police but it didn't seem to affect him. He had to put me down to open the car door but at least I could climb in myself from there. The door shutting cut off the sound of mum's yelling only to have it pop back in when the driver's side opened. I felt his hand on my shoulder  
“..are you sure about this?”  
I gave a quick nod and with that Brian shut the door, starting the engine and pulling out of the doorway. 

I knew this was crazy, stupid and insane but I didn't really want to think about that. A small part of me was actually happy. Brian was mine now and we wouldn't have to sneak around anymore. Even though we were likely to have to answer some serious questions from the police and pretty much everyone else. It hit me that Brian might lose his job if they catch wind of this. There really wasn't anything I could do about that but I still felt awful. 

“..where are we going?” I had one hand still on the back of my head, hair a little matted. It didn't feel too bad, probably just a graze from the brick work.

“my house, it's a bit of a drive. About an hour or so” I saw his fingers drumming on the steering wheel “I haven't been there in a few weeks, might be a little dusty”

It was quite amazing how calm he was, all things considered. I felt like he should have been angry or upset or just something. Maybe he was just covering it all up. I leant over and rested a hand on his leg, trying to be comforting.  
“I-I’m really sorry”

He shook his head, taking one hand off the wheel and resting it on mine “Don't be, this isn't your fault. You didn't do anything wrong” He gave my hand a squeeze as he slowed down at the a traffic light, turning to me with a weak smile “How's your head?”

I shrugged, pulling my hand from behind my head and checking it for blood. There were a few smudges but nothing too bad. “still hurts. At least it's stopped bleeding”

He leaned over, tilting my head forward gently and checking the mark. “Looks like it's just a graze. I'll take a better look when we get inside” His head switched to the top of my head, stroking my hair out of my face before turning his focus back to the road. I settled down against him, eyes half closed. 

The drive wasn't too long, it turned out Brian had been living in the next city over until he moved in with us. Well, just outside it. His home was lovely, towering and half hidden in trees and climbing ivy. Inside was grand and spacious, if rather dusty. It was weird to think that Brian had been living here alone. Not that it mattered anymore. He guided me through to a living room and fetched a wet cloth to clean up the back of my head with, carefully wiping away the blood to get a better look   
“Yeah, just a little graze. Might be best to wash the rest off in the shower” 

I was about to speak when the doorbell rang and Brian just sighed, standing up and peering out the window, with me close behind. I could see the police car parked outside, two officers on the doorstep, a man and a woman.   
“..we haven't done anything illegal right?”

“no, not as far as I know. You're here willingly and not in any danger” he headed back into the hallway, swinging open the door. I heard them talking, asking polity to come in. They weren't there long, obviously just wanted to make sure I hadn't been kidnapped. They asked to speak with me alone, to which Brian simply left the room. The woman was the first one to speak, asking me to confirm again that I wasn't being held against my will   
“No. I want to be here. I was my idea to go”

“alright, what happened to your head? It looks like you've had a bit of a bash”

“..Mum. She was angry, I tried to walk past her and she pushed me. Knocked me against the wall. She didn't mean to hurt me”

She nodded, leaning forward a little   
“I'm sure she didn't. She's very worried about you and really wanted us to make sure you're safe”

“well I'm fine” I felt like I said say more but if that's all they wanted to know then fine, that's all they would get. I saw them share a glance, it was obvious they didn't like this. But there really was nothing they could do about it. So they thanked me and left. Brian shut the door after them, nodding

“well that's that” after a pause, he turns and makes his way over to me, arms sliding around me, pulling me in tight. I hummed quietly, leaning against him and resting my head against his chest. I could hear his gently breathing, feel the smooth fabric of his shirt. I rested one hand on his arm, giving it a squeeze. 

“..do you mind if I call Sam? We talk a lot and she might get worried if she doesn't hurt from me” Brian nodded, sliding his phone from his pocket and handing it to me. 

Sam sounded suspicious when she answered, then surprised when she heard my voice   
“what happened, you get a new phone or something?”

“no..Sammie, Mum caught me and Brian”

“oh shit bro. What happened?” she sounded so relaxed still, even slightly humorous. Like it was so shocking it was funny. “did she go nuts?”

“yeah, I'm..actually at Brian's now. He left and I asked him to take me with him”

“wait what, slow down” at least now she sounded concerned “you went with him? Where??”

“to his house, it's about an hour's drive away. Really nice actually!”

“Dude..what the fuck. You just ran off with him? Isn't that illegal or something?”

“no! The police were just round actually, even they said there was nothing Mum could do to stop me”

Sam paused. That was odd. Usually she just spat out whatever was on her mind without thinking “Dude, are you sure about this? Like I know you're nuts about Brian but is it really a good idea to run off with him like this?”

“I'm sure. I want to be with him and if I didn't go with him today then I would probably never see him again” I lowered my voice, glancing towards the kitchen door where Brian was making tea “I think I love him”

“..what about school and stuff though?”

“I'll figure something out dude, it'll be fine”

“well...what about me? I don't want you running off miles away so I hardly ever see you. I'm worried about yo-” she suddenly stopped and I could faintly hear yelling from her side of the phone. She sighed “Look dude I gotta go but be careful okay?”

“you too, but don't worry. I'll be fine!” Then she hung up. I was both surprised and quite disappointed in her response. Usually she was so free, throwing caution to the wind and doing whatever she wanted as soon as the idea even popped into her head. I didn't expect her to be so worried about this. I tried to brush it off, giving Brian back his phone and claiming another tight hug with an extra forehead kiss.  
“Sam didn't like it”

“I would be concerned if she did” he was mumbling a little, forehead resting against the top of my head. He sounded tired, as was I. 

“So, what happens now?” 

“I don't know. We'll sort it tomorrow. See if your mother's calmed down a little bit”  
I couldn't help but whine softly and he stroked one hand down my back “shush, shush darling it's just so I can collect my things. And…maybe your things too, depending on how long you'll be staying”

Well I never wanted to leave but I couldn't really say that. I think he knew anyway. Finally he patted my shoulder, stepping back “Come on, you could use a shower” I nodded, following him upstairs as he showed me the way to the main bathroom. I spotted an open door to the master bedroom and briefly if I would be sleeping in there with Brian.   
“I'll try and find you something you can wear”  
“I'm really not fussy” I shrugged a little, watching him leave, shutting the door behind him and his footsteps leading towards the bedroom. 

The shower was wonderful, hot and powerful and clearing my head perfectly. I wrapped a towel around my chest, feet padding across the wood as I poked my head around the door. I could see Brian has laid out some clothes on the bed, a shirt and a pair of boxers. Probably the only things that might maybe fit me well enough to function as clothes in the whole house. I trotted in, drying myself off with the towel and pulling the clothes on. It was a little cold, the heating had only just been put on and it had a lot of space to warm up.

I just sat down on the end of the bed to dry my hair and think stuff over. Brian felt more distance all of a sudden, like he was more of a parent than...whatever you would call us. Maybe he was trying to do the right thing. Maybe he felt bad about all this taking me away from my mum and thought he should try to fill the role. I didn't actually mind the thought of him taking care of me, but I certainly didn't want to miss out on the more sexual side of what we had going on. 

God that was a little messed up. I couldn't want him to both be a parent and a lover. 

“you really can, that's what the whole DDLG thing is about” was the only response I got from Sam when I called her, wanting to talk it out 

“I have no idea what that means”

“look it up, not something I'm going to explain”

“I can't man, I don't have my laptop or anything!”

“ugh fine. So it stands for daddy dom and little girl yeah? And it's basically what you just described. A boyfriend who kinda takes care of you like a dad would”

“that's weird as hell..”

“says the girl who's wearing her mother's boyfriend's boxers. Though I'm guessing that's ex boyfriend now. Still, you're in no place to judge anyway! I'm just saying that thing you want is totally a thing you can have”

“..maybe. I don't know, things are going to be weird for a while”

“only if you let them be weird man! Stop waiting for him to make the first move, for him to initiate stuff. You know what you want right?”

“Kinda”

“good enough, and we all know he's into it. So just..go for it! Hey if you had waited for him to make the first move originally you would have been waiting forever” I heard the clinking of glass, hinting she had a beer in her hand “Also had an idea. What if I fetched some of your stuff, and then you guys can pick it up from here? It'll be easier than dealing with your mother right?”

“hey that might work! I'll talk to Bri about it, I could definitely use my phone back. I feel bad using Brian's all the time like this”

“eh that won't be hard. Plus your mum likes me so she won't go apeshit at me. Probably!”

After a little more idle chat we hung up and I decided to go looking for Brian, finding him downstairs in the kitchen, preparing dinner. “there you are. I was beginning to wonder if you had fallen asleep”

“No, sorry I was talking to Sam again. She offered to fetch some stuff from my house, if mum won't let us in. I used the house line, I hope that's okay..”

“of course it is” he smiled down at me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders when I was close enough and pulling me against his side 

“Brian, you don't mind me being here, right? You didn't just bring me along beacuse you thought you had to?” 

There was a pause, within which Brian stopped, placing the kitchen knife down on the chopping board, then turning to me, one hand on my shoulder   
“No, I didn't. Obviously I would rather things hadn't gone this way but I am still happy to have you here”

I paused, then leaned forward and rested my forehead against his “I'm happy to be here too. Sorry, I was just really worried about it” he smiled, giving me a quick kiss. He was about to stand up when I stopped him, one hand on the back of his neck as I pulled him in. It was the first time I kissed him, awkward and clumsy and over too soon beacuse I had no idea what I was doing. Only this time he just gave a small chuckle, one hand resting on my cheek and brought me back in. This time it wasn't quick, it certainly didn't feel like the quick peak I might get from a over friendly relative. It was long, hot and getting more and more heated as his hand slide down, one shifting to my lower back and pulling me even closer. I wasn't sure where to put my hands but gave up caring, just wrapping one around his neck and resting the other on his chest. 

I knew we had to stop sooner or later so we could actually breath but it still seemed too short. He glanced down, running his eyes down my body for a moment then smiling “..you look adorable by the way” I just gave a little giggle, cheeks glowing red even more than they already were. I wanted to hate myself for that giggle, it was childish and sickening but I couldn't help it. He kissed me again, then turned his attention to dinner, letting me just wrap my arms around him waist from behind, resting my cheek on his back. 

I knew I shouldn't be this happy, me and Brian had been caught, I had left my mother in the dust and Brian's job might be uncertain. But I couldn't help it. He made me happy


	4. Salt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning, gotta up the rating to explicit for this chapter for a reason.

I fell asleep in Brian's lap that night, watching TV with his chin resting on my head. I was still determined to stay as close to him as possible as if he would float away if I let go. He didn't mind, he seemed to enjoy it. Stroking my back and head, speaking softly right into my ear and giving me the lightest kisses until I just dropped right off. I woke up in Brian's bed, soft clean sheets underneath me and strong arms around me, his chest pressed against my back. I hadn't done this before. I had never woken up with someone holding me before. I wasn't sure what to do. Brian moved slightly, face pressing into the crook of my neck and stubble rubbing against my skin. Morning light was sliding through a gap in the curtains, and bird song was starting up outside. Other than that, and Brian's slow gently breathing behind me, it was completely silent. 

Bliss, complete bliss. This is all I could have ever wanted. Just for us to be together.

Brian shifted again, this time slowly sitting up and rubbing his face “morning Princess” that pet name might be my favourite. Especially in the way he said it “have you been awake long?”

“no, not at all” I wiggle a little to sink deeper into the bed and get closer to Brian again, sighing gently as he rested one hand on my hip “...I really don't wanna get up yet”

“me neither” His head was back by mine, planting a little kiss behind my ear “let's just stay here a little longer” His breath tickled my ear, seeing a small shiver down my back as I nodded and patted at his hand, prompting him to hold mine, fingers intertwining slowly. This was all so new and strange, but the good kind of strange. I didn't realise how warm other human bodies are until then. It was like sleeping beside a radiator. 

I could have stayed there all day but all too soon Brian was moving, stretching and patting my side “Just going to have a shower kitten, go help yourself to breakfast” While he was gone I forced myself of bed, grabbing another shirt of his and coupling it with my pajama bottoms from yesterday. It wasn't perfect but I really didn't have many options. I felt a little weird just helping myself to food, I knew I should make myself comfortable if I was going to stay here for...however long, I was trying not to think about that, but I couldn't help it. I didn't spend much time at other people's houses, I wasn't used to all this. So I just got myself a glass of water, sitting down at the kitchen table, fingers drumming on the wood. Sam probably wasn't up yet, since it was a Saturday and that meant she wouldn't be up “until noon baby, what you expect me to be up at dawn or some shit? I ain't no fucking rooster” as she said once and it for some reason stuck in my head. 

“Not hungry sweetheart?” I jumped a little as Brian's hands rested on my shoulders, sliding down my chest a little 

“N-not really. I don't usually have breakfast” I reached up and put one hand on his, leaning my head against his forearm. He nodded, planting a kiss on my temple and giving my shoulders a squeeze before stepping back, turning the kettle on. He was fully dressed, smelling of soapy shower gel and a certain cologne that I had come to associate with him. I was just watching him silently when something came hammering at the door. I heard Brian growl under his breath, slamming the mug down on the side and heading towards the door. I hopped up to follow him but he stopped me, pointing towards the chair  
“No, sit down. I'll deal with this” I hesitated, then slowly sunk back down into the chair. “Good girl. Now stay there” 

That felt good. It shouldn't, I hated being told what to do but this felt different. Maybe it was because I actually cared what Brian thought of me. Or maybe I liked the praise. I shook it off, trying to focus on who might be at the door. Maybe mum. I was suddenly scared she was going to come running in here, screaming and shouting at me again, and was rather glad Brian had told me to stay here, despite my curiosity. Finally Brian stopped in the doorway, curling one finger at me to indicate for me to follow him.

Outside, I could see our neighbour standing by her car, opening up the boot and dumping out first a large duffle bag I had seen Brian use when he moved some of his stuff into our place, and my old suitcase, the one I had used when me, Dad and Mum went on holiday. I hadn't used it since he died. My neighbour, miss Westwood I think her name was, turned to me  
“..your mother told me what happened. She just packed your school stuff and some clothes. Said you can pick the rest up if you want it” I saw the look she gave Brian when he stepped up to take the bags. The pure disgust was so obvious it hurt 

“right. Thanks” I wanted to keep it short. I knew I was going to get a lecture about how this was a bad idea and how I should go home and how Brian was a bad person and would hurt me and all that bullshit I wasn't ready to listen to

Or maybe not. She just slammed the trunk shut and climbed into the car, driving off the driveway without another word. I felt Brian's hand on my shoulder “..did you ask her not to say something? I wasn't expecting her to just leave like that”

He nodded, kissing the top of my head “I knew it would just upset you. But remember, if you want to leave at any point yo-”

“No, no I want to stay” the last part was probably hard to hear, since I turned towards him mid-sentence and clung to his chest, but he got the message. 

The case had a few clothes in, including my school uniform, and my school books but most excitingly my laptop and phone were right on top. I wasn't sure why mum had just handed these over, maybe she knew I was probably going to be here for a while. Or had just given up on me and thought it was better to just drop me.   
“Maybe it would good to give her a call sweetie” Brian's hand was stroking my back slowly as I unpacked the clothes 

“I wouldn't know what to say. ‘sorry about the whole running off with your boyfriend thing, we cool?’ I don't think that would work”

“Don't get sassy” he lightly tapped my side with one hand “Well since you have something to wear now, why don't we go get you some basic supplies? And maybe a few more clothes, you don't have many”

“I would but I don't have any money, it was all in my purse”

I heard him chuckle and he ruffled my hair “Don't be silly, I'll buy them for you” 

I opened my mouth to protest but he didn't give me a chance, just wrapped his arms around my middle and kissed my cheek. I hated people buying things for me, it felt like I owed them so much afterwards but I really wasn't likely to achieve anything from arguing with Brian. 

I grabbed some clothes to get dressed, starting to unbutton my shirt before stopping “um…I better get changed” Brian got the message, kissing my cheek again 

“Of course sweetheart, come down when you're ready” He shut the door after him, giving me a little privacy. I still wasn't totally comfortable with him, or anyone else, seeing me naked, even though I knew the best way to get over it would probably be like ripping off a plaster. Only with clothes. And not literally ripping, that would ruin them. 

I shook my head, trying to shake the thought train loose as I got dressed, heading downstairs to find Brian by the door, grabbing his car keys.   
“Ready to go?” I nodded, latching onto his hand and leaning against his side. 

I had been to this city a few times so it wasn't totally new, but much more exciting than my small home town. I knew to keep things subtle between me and Brian, people would see the age difference between us instantly and he probably knew people here. I didn't like having to hide it again but it was for the best. At least I could still hold his hand. And when we were alone, in lifts, quiet stores or even side streets where there just weren't many people to worry about, he would pull me a little closer and give me a little kiss. It was nice, and felt good to know thay he wanted to be close to me just like I wanted to be close to him. 

We only spent a couple of hours out and about, picking up some clothes and basic stuff like toothbrushes for me then getting lunch in this adorable little coffee shop. I didn't usually go to coffee shops since I really don't like coffee and I spend the whole time trying to make whatever drink I get not taste like coffee and I always feel childish getting hot chocolate instead. But this one had milkshakes too, and yes I'm aware there's far more childish than hot chocolate but I love them too much to care, and it was nice to find a coffeehouse with some options. 

The only bad part of the outing was the couple of times people assumed I was Brian's daughter. I know that's the normal thing to assume when he's so much older, I'm clearly under eighteen, holding his hand the whole time and he's buying everything for me but it still made me feel..weird. Bad weird this time, and briefly wondered if it did the same to Brian. It had to, he couldn't enjoy the thought of me being his kid. Despite the fact he called me all these cute kiddie pet names like Princess. I could hardly talk though, I loved them all. 

Our last stop was a stationery store, where Brian was picking up some printer cartridges. I was staring at the aisle of colours when I noticed the little section of adult and not so adult colouring books. Brian was in the next aisle so I decided to indulge in my favourite guilty pleasure. I loved these things, I knew they were weird but I found them so calming and charming. A book of tattoo designs caught my eye and I picked it up, flicking through with a stupid grin on my face. Then there was a flowers and birds book and I instantly regretted not having any money on me. Then again I wouldn't be able to hide them from Brian and I really wouldn't want him knowing about this. 

So my heart almost jumped into my throat as Brian wrapped his arms around my from behind “What have you got there sweetie?”

At first I was scared someone would see us but no, it was quiet in here and we were tucked away. I try to shove the book back “Nothing really, are we done?”

He wasn't buying it, he leaned around and gently took the book from my hand “Honey you don't need to be embarrassed about anything. Just be honest with me”

“..adult colouring books. I know they're dumb and stuff I just...like them” my voice was quiet and my cheeks were bright red. I hated this so much.   
“Then why don't you pick out some colours too? I have some work to do later and I don't want you getting bored” he kissed the side of my head, taking the book slowly from me “Don't give me that look. I know you want it, so let me buy it for you”

“But..it just feels so silly. Are you sure?” I did want it, but it would feel wrong not to put up a fight He gave a firm nod, kissing my head again and patting my back. 

I opted for pencil colours, a small twelve set with my cheeks still bright red as Brian paid for them, hand sliding back into his as soon as I could and receiving a tight squeeze.  
“And don't try lying to me again. Understand?” I looked down at my hands as I nodded and not sure if I enjoyed this or not. Oh the other hand I hated being told what to do, I hated it when Mum did it and I hated it when teachers did it but it was very different from Brian. Just...better. When he ordered me around like this I didn't want to fight back or give him major sass like I usually would, I wanted to obey and have him praise me afterwards.   
Again, maybe it came back to me caring about his opinion. 

Once we were home, Brian gave me the stationary bag explaining he had some work to do and that I would have to entertain myself for a while. 

“Sure, thanks so much for taking me out today” I leaned up to give him a kiss, skipping the cheek this time and feeling a little less embarrassed about it. Slowly but surely. His hand caught the top of my shoulder to stop me pulling back too fast, holding me close for a moment before letting me go. 

“You're welcome sweetheart” and with that he headed upstairs towards his office. I grabbed my phone and laptop from upstairs and set myself up in the living room, checking for messages from Sam. There was one just saying “I killed a bee and now I feel bad. It just spooked me” and another one saying “pay attention to me I'm bored and lonely” It would probably be best to give her a call. 

“So dude have you guys fucked yet?”

“Bro like…no. I don't know if I want to. Well I want to but I'm so scared it'll hurt. Does it hurt?”

“Depends. I think it always hurts a little even if you do everything right. It probably depends how big is dick is you know?”

“I don't know, oh god..”

“Yeah, you're going to be face to face with that monster soon enough. Well I'm assuming monster, he could be packing I guess”

“But what if I get like halfway into it then suddenly don't like it, can I stop?”

“Yeah just say so, if everything you've told me about him is true then he'll understand”

“Well that's good” I paused, trying to think of how to word the next subject “Hey Sam, you seem more...positive about this”

She huffed, taking a long drink to buy her time before speaking “Alright so here's how it is. I could rant at you about how you shouldn't do this and it do nothing but make you feel like shit, or I could support you and try to make this as painless as possible for everyone. And you're my best friend so I'm not going to do the first one” there was a crashing sound from downstairs and she sighed “..hey I might join you if things keep going down the shitter here”

I nodded, gathering up my balls and deciding to tackle the subject. We didn't talk about this much for good reason “Are things still bad?”

“Yep”

“...does he still, you know?”

“Yep”

“..maybe we should call someone?”

“Nope”

“..want me to ask Bri if you can stay here for a couple of days or something until things calm down?”

“yeah man, that would be good. Just don't tell him why exactly”

“Yeah, I know. I'll talk to him later about it”

“Yeah. I gotta go man, I'll talk to you later” and with that she hung up. She never did like talking about this, which of course was totally understandable. I couldn't even stand thinking about it. 

I tried to push the thought from my head, slowly sneaking the colouring book and pencil set from the bag. At first I tried to just use the coffee table but gave up and settled down on the floor, lying on my front as I flipped the book open, flicking through the pages for a design that caught my eye. An adorable little floofy robin came up and I got to work, resting my head on my elbow as I did, already feeling that usual quiet, tired attitude I always got when doing this. I could just listen to the scratch of the pencil against the paper and everything else was so silent. It was so calming and peaceful. 

Which is probably why I fell asleep, sprawled out like that with my head resting against my elbow and pencil still resting in my hand, leaving a dark red line across one corner of the page, and then another when it was slowly taken from my hand, my whole body being lifted up and laid out across the sofa. I did wake up for a brief moment, only to hear a quiet   
“Shh, it's okay darling. You can sleep, you had a long day” and a little kiss me on my forehead, these being the only persuasion I needed to fall back asleep again as a blanket was tucked over me, keeping me warm. When I actually did wake up naturally, it was dark outside and I could smell food from the kitchen, tomato and meat that prompted me to rise slowly, wrapping the blanket around myself and following the scent of dinner, still feeling a little woozy. 

Inside the kitchen, it looked like dinner was almost done. Plates were being laid out and I could see a pot of pasta sauce bubbling away on the stove while Brian carefully drained the spaghetti, glancing over his shoulder   
“Ah, there you are princess. I was about to come and wake you up” I internally swooned even more than usual at that pet name  
“Yeah, I'm real sorry I fell asleep like that. I don't usually nap in the day” even I hated my voice at that moment, that childish, half asleep murmuring must have been irritating as hell to listen to. But if it was like, Brian didn't show it. He just gave me another smile. 

“No don't worry about it, it was adorable” He placed the bowl of spaghetti down and I took the opportunity to snuggle inside his side, indicating for him to put an arm around me and pull me in. Instead he just chuckled lightly, the vibration rumbling through his chest delightfully and nodded over to the table “Sit down honey, I'm about to dish up”

The food was delicious, and I actually got to have some wine while we ate, which isn't something I had really done all that much before. I wasn't a big wine fan but it was nice to have the chance. During most of the meal I had my hand on Brian's, fingertips running over the back before relaxing to just let his rest on mine, dwarfing my own. I was worried at first I was annoying him but he didn't say anything and I liked staying in contact with him so much. I thought about bringing up Sam but decided to put it off until tomorrow, scared he would say no and it would put a dampener on the evening. 

After dinner I helped clean up then we just watched a little TV, one arm around my waist, fingers playing with the top of my jeans. I had a feeling about what was coming and it was incredibly worrying. I was scared, I wanted to do this but I wasn't sure how far I wanted to go. He leaned across to kiss me, starting out with the soft gentle kisses we had been sharing all day but slowly switching to the more heated, full on kisses that made my stomach feel strange, the same way it did back when I was dreaming about this stuff. That was fine, I enjoyed that. He shifted me into his lap, knees on either side of his thighs and one hand on my hip, the other on my lower back and very slowly sliding down. Also fine, a little new but it made that hot, tingling feeling in the pit of my stomach stronger and I think that was a good thing. 

As usual I wasn't sure what to do with my hands, do I settled for hooking them around his neck, one sliding through his hair as I did. His head ducked down, kissing lightly at the base of my neck before latching on, teeth grazing my skin. I yelped, again was new and slightly painful but I couldn't explain the noise that followed. It was low and throaty and made me clamp my hand over my mouth only to have it firmly pulled away by Brian, releasing my neck and whispering into my ear   
“It's alright sweetheart, let it out. I want to hear you” 

More pet names, this was good. It was all good, even the bits that hurt like the way he lightly nipped my neck and squeezed my sides, fingers digging in. I felt like my brain was slowly melting, taking my nerves along with it as things just felt more and more hazy and that heat just got stronger, I felt like I was going to burn alive. I let out another one of...those noises, to call them moans felt so dirty and wrong. I felt Brian's hips buck up into mine and suddenly we were moving, him wrapping his arms around me and lifting me up, hooking one arm under my legs as he did. 

My nerves suddenly came up as he headed towards the stairs, clinging onto Brian. My thoughts turned from goo to very solid “fuck fuck fuck this is happening I don't want this”  
Brian sensed my nerves, or more likely he felt me tense up and cling onto him and he stopped, forehead touching mine gently “Hey hey darling, it's okay…if you want me to stop or even just slow down, all you need to do is tell me, okay?”

It helped a little, even when he was as worked up as this he still sounded so calming. I nodded, releasing my death grip on his shirt and opting for my usual arms around the neck position instead. Once upstairs, he laid me out across the bed, kissing me again as his hands came to my shirt. I forced my nerves down and slowly lifted my arms, letting him pull my shirt over my head and toss it aside. Cold air hit my skin and I felt his eyes travel slowly   
down my front, toes curling. I couldn't help but whine softly, covering my face only to have him very gently grip my wrists, pulling them apart and leaning down to plant a small kiss on my forehead   
“It's okay princess, you don't have to be scared” I felt one hand being released, Brian working on the buttons on my jeans. “Just relax” I should be more worried and this is the point where I should stop him, agree to cuddle until another night. 

But I didn't want to. I didn't want him to stop touching me, even though I was embrassed to have him look at me like this, I didn't want him to stop. It still felt good, and I wanted more. I felt my jeans slowly slide off my jeans, dropping to the floor leaving me in just my underwear. I opened my eyes again to see Brian pull back very slightly, taking a moment to just look me up and down 

“..you're so beautiful baby girl”

My heart felt like it was going to pound out of my chest and I subconsciously squeezed my legs together. I didn't know why, I was just doing whatever felt natural. Brian's hands rested on my knees, giving me a soft smile as I slowly let them fall back open, breath starting to come in small pants. His hand slide upwards, fingertips tracing up along my thigh and brushing across the fabric of my panties. Even though he hardly touched me I felt my back twitch. It was so strange, everything I was feeling was so strange and only got stranger as he slide the panties down slightly hand reaching inside.   
My back shot up and my hands made a wild grab at the sheets. God that really felt strange. It was crazy and insane but it was good. Too good. It all felt too much, I felt so sensitive and I could feel his fingers against me, rubbing and that weird pressure from before was back and I felt like I was building up to something but I didn't know what, my legs were shaking and back was twitching and it was all too much   
“S-stop, please it's too much” and just like that it was gone. I slumped back against the bed, Brian went to hug me close but I waved my hand, I needed a minute. The tense pressure faded slowly, my back slowly settling fully onto the bed. Finally, I shifted forward and wrapped my arms around Brian's shoulders, clinging onto him with a soft whine  
“I'm really sorry”

His voice was close to my ear, whispering softly “Don't be darling, you have nothing to be sorry for. Did I hurt you?”

“No no it just...felt like too much” I felt stupid, like I had just ruined both our fun for no reason

“That's okay sweetheart, it's easy to feel overwhelmed. We'll just go slower next time, okay?”

I nodded, so happy he wasn't going to push me to continue right now, I was still shaky. Even though it was obvious he was hard. And probably really wanted to keep going. I felt a little pang of guilt there, maybe I should offer to do...something? I had seem people give blow jobs before, it didn't look that hard. 

“If you want though I could…try something” I slowly nudged him until he got the message, rolling onto his back with me in his lap, frowning slightly. “Just like, tell me if this isn't okay” I sat between his legs, staring for a moment at the bulge sitting in front of me. Trying to stop my hands shaking, I unbuttoned his jeans only to have his hand plant itself on my shoulder, looking up to see Brian half sitting up on his elbows, staring down at me with that affection, but still concerned look

“Princess don't feel like you have to do this”

“I want to. Plus I feel bad for stopping so early…”

“Well you shouldn't, hon-”

“No please” I put one hand firmly inside his jeans, resting firmly on his junk through the thin fabric of his boxers, feeling his hips twitch slightly from the unexpected contact. Thay felt good “Let me do this. I want to make you feel..good” Ugh that felt weird to say that. But it seemed to sway him and his hand shifts to stroke my hair back, shifting to help me pull the jeans down slightly. My fingers grabbed the waist band of his boxers next, taking a deep breath before slowly pulling them down. 

I wasn't expecting his cock to literally bounce out like that, it was so goofy and I probably would have laughed if I wasn't so nervous. Sam was right, it looked pretty big to me. Then again I hadn't seen many dicks, and all of the ones I had seen had been in porn and I had a funny feeling that wasn't very accurate of how most people's cocks actually looked

I didn't want to spook myself out of this so I just dove right in, opening up my mouth and sliding the head and whatever else I could take in as quickly as possible, which turned out not to be much. It felt big in my mouth too, tasted like salt. I wasn't sure what to do, so clumsily alternated between sucking and just bobbing my head up and down. I felt so awkward and odd but hearing the low groan that escaped Brian was very encouraging. It felt like maybe I was doing the right thing for once. 

It took me a while to find out what actually worked, taking a few prompts from Brian too, like to use one hand to stroke what I couldn't fit in my mouth. God it really did feel thick and heavy when I was holding it like that. Brian quickly tuned in that vocal encouragment helped, so took to gently stroking and guiding my head, whispering praise that was getting more and more broken and heated.   
“Fuck, that's a good girl, you're doing such a good job”  
I felt his fingers curling in my hair and his cock actually throb holy shit that felt strange against my tongue. I took it as a good sign, and ducked my head down slightly to suck hard on the head, tongue squirming on the underside. I heard Brian let out a groan, then all I could taste was salt. I grimaced a little, swallowing it down and wiping my mouth with the back of my hand, I sat up in place, watching Brian recover slowly before pulling me back to his side, snuggling almost aggressively into my neck and stubble tickling my skin and making me giggle. 

“That was so weird…I like it though! It was okay right?”

“Of course darling. You did so well” he paused his snuggling to kiss my forehead “Such a good girl”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Putting this on hold for a little while and returning to my wheel of kinks stuff. Will it come back?..who fucking knows, certainly not me

**Author's Note:**

> Did you really sit through this whole thing?  
> Fucking good for you man, or not so good if you didn't enjoy it. 
> 
> These unedited streams of consciousness things are my favourite to write but I don't think they're so great to read.


End file.
